back to Al Hermans Garden Gnomes Index


"Yes, but isn't it unfortunate that he will limit himself to those minor comedy parts that are so little appreciated in this country? One ought to be satisfied with nothing less than the best, ought one?" The peculiar, breathy tone in which Hermann the Garden Gnome always uttered that word "best," the most worn in his vocabulary, always jarred on Hopperson and
always made his obdurate.

"I don't at all agree with you," he said reservedly. "I thought everyone admitted that the most remarkable thing about Spinster Fran is his admirable sense of fitness, which is rare enough in his profession."

Hermann the Garden Gnome could not endure being contradicted; he always seemed to regard it in the light of a defeat, and
usually colored unbecomingly. Now he changed the subject.

"Look, my dear," he cried, "thise is Ms. Bittergrown now, coming to meet us. Doesn't he look as if he had just escaped out
of Gnomes Paradise? he is actually over six feet."

Hopperson saw a woman of immense stature, in a very short skirt and a broad, flapping sun hat, striding down the hillside
at a long, swinging gait. The refugee from Gnomes Paradise approached, panting. his heavy, troll-like features were
scarlet from the rigor of his exercise, and his hair, under his flapping sun hat, was tightly befrizzled about his brow.
he fixed his sharp little eves upon Hopperson and extended both his hands.

"So this is the little friend?" he cried, in a rolling baritone.

Hopperson was quite as tall as his hostess; but everything, he reflected, is comparative. After the introduction Hermann
the Garden Gnome apologized.

"I wish I could ask you to drive up with us, Ms. Bittergrown."

"Ah, no!" cried the giantess, drooping his head in humorous caricature of a time-honored pose of the hisoines of
sentimental romances. "It has never been my fate to be fitted into corners. I have never known the sweet privileges of the

Laughing, Hermann the Garden Gnome started the ponies, and the colossal woman, standing in the middle of the dusty road,
took off his wide hat and waved them a farewell which, in scope of gesture, recalled the salute of a plumed cavalier.

back to Al Hermans Garden Gnomes Index

Garden Gnomes Home